Long ago, in a land far away…men actually wanted to date women.
Back by popular demand, here is my Blog in living colour and a brief history of the last
2yrs of my life.
I was in a relationship for 17mths, he moved in, he moved
out a few months later. He tried to win me back for 5 months, it didn’t happen.
I won’t go into the ugly details but it
was all his choice due to his past deep scars and emotional wounds that I could
not fix. So once again, I find myself
single and dating. And I have to ask this
question: WTF has happened to men in the
last 2 years??!!
Perhaps it’s my new age decade change to 40 that has turned men into
presumptuous persons (for lack of a kind word) who actually have the nerve to
ask me to take THEM for dinner. Do they
see my age on the dating site and think that I would be honoured to have
them accompany me so that I look cool with them?
And it’s not just the younger men pulling this new scam. I’ve had a few men ages 29-42 ask me to take
them out. My reply is simply this “I do
not pay men to keep me company”. Of
course they then flip that around and say that men do it all the time so it’s
the woman’s turn and other excuses like women’s lib. At this age, I am pretty much not settling
for anything. I’d rather become a cat
lady than to have to bribe a man to be in my presence. I would rather date for the next 20 yrs and
enjoy dating on my terms, than have to be desperate enough to need to buy men
gifts and dinners in exchange for their brief momentary attention. That’s just not who I am.
Another aspect of how dating has changed in the last 2 years
is that men no longer want to do any leg work.
There is no dating involved anymore, no wooing, no offers of meeting for
lunch dates or a drink after work. I
have had offers of things like “come over and we can order a pizza and you can
give me a massage”. Ok so they want me
to get in my car, drive to their place while they just sit there waiting for
their “Woman of the Day” to arrive on their doorsteps as conveniently as their Men’s
Health magazine?
The answer is YES.
Men
do not want to put in the time to date anymore.
They want instant gratification with ZERO work involved. I am not a call girl but that’s pretty much
what they want…a girl on call on their terms and on their schedules. They are not even willing to take a woman out
anymore for a cheap dinner somewhere or a movie. What the heck has happened to these
men?? Is it because the internet and
texting has become so instantaneous and easy that they expect women to be that
easy too?
Now don’t get me wrong, I have met a handful of men that
have paid for my drink and/or a dinner and I give those men a big High 5 on
that. Thank you to them for keeping the
dream alive! But it’s becoming less and
less of a thing for men to cough up $5 for a drink, never mind actually
spending gas money to meet a woman somewhere or to take off their PJ pants and
leave their fortress of solitude.
Lastly, I have also been the one to
initiate first date meetings with a few men.
Sounds like it would be flattering for a woman to be assertive and
confident enough to ask a guy out doesn’t it?
Well, on more than several occasions…I’ve been cancelled on, forgotten
or just plain stood up. Various excuses
used, various reasons from: they got
called into work or they forgot their cell phones at work/in the car/in their
other jeans, their dog peed on their phone and it was drying on the clothes
line. I am confident enough and respect
myself enough to use the motto: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. A woman likes to feel wanted, pursued and sought
after, especially when she’s a good catch.
I have no addictions, no emotional baggage, I have a good career which
I’m working very hard on advancing in and I’m a kind and amazing girlfriend
when I’m within that role.
I am flirty, fun and a fabulous and when I’m interested in a
man, I show it. But I will not let
myself be used as an escort service, a delivery service, a cash cow or a
masseuse nor will I drive around all corners of the earth desperate for the
company of a man. Because if I have to
do that, he’s not worth it.
So, we shall see what the dating realm holds for me in this
new year of possibilities. I do know
this though, with or without a man, the futures so bright… I gotta wear
shades.
Over... but not out!
