Monday, October 17, 2011

Young Guns Vs. Old Pros

So, back to the hockey game that inspired me to write again.
Last week, I was watching 2 two very opposite ends of the age spectrum play against each other.

Before me were energetic youths in their early to mid teens and on the opposite team were very focused men around 35-45.
Watching them both reminded me of the dating differences in young men versus older men. Now, I don’t mean old men with walkers, canes or other mobility assistance paraphernalia. And I sure as heck don’t mean boys in their teens. That’s just plain silly.
I mean men that are 20 something versus men in their late 30’s to late 40’s.

When you are a woman in your mid to late 30’s, you are bombarded by both ends of the scale when it comes to dating. You have the young guys full of energy and full of ego trying to hook up with you, and then you have men that are older than you just looking for their younger woman to have on their arm. I’ve touched on this before but will go in a different direction this time.

From my research and experiences, the young men are eager and full of beans. They are always on the go, looking for the next party and their next conquest. They have no real debt (because they probably still live with their parents) and they have no real commitments in life. They are living for the moment. They love a challenge, think they are invincible and seem to have no limits. They will accept anything laid before them (no pun intended).
Unless they are very career driven, they probably have no real liabilities or responsibilities. But being career driven can also bring arrogance.
Especially in this age of the new “Playstation i-Everything Generation”, these younger men have become lazy and very self focused. Media has helped them become this way from the time they were exposed to it. They have only ever known MuchMusic (yes, I AM Canadian :)  ) cable (what's an antenna??) and everything handed to them in hyperspeed. Drive thru’s, instant messaging in some form or another, and laptop computers have been around them all of their lives. They are easily distracted, but like to get what they want and move on. They are easily bored and overstimulated by technology.  There are exceptions as with anything and I’m sure there are lovely young men out there, but they’re dating girls in their age range. The ‘boys’ who want a woman 10-15 yrs their senior tend to not be those guys.

However, this newest generation of young men seem to have watched something somewhere (because they don’t read anything other than texts) that let them in on a secret tactic that the older men have perfected.
Put the woman first in the bedroom. It seems that they have decided not to just jump in and hump like Thumper anymore. It’s not a race called gone in 60 seconds. They now seem to want to take care of the woman first. Do they do this with girls their age or are they trying to overachieve to impress us more mature gals?
Not quite sure why, but these young ‘uns have thrown that chip on the table now. One major difference is this: they still rush through it to get to the grand prize being their own gratification. Now they are gone in 120 seconds.

And now for the old pro’s…

They have debt, they have baggage, they have liabilities, they have children, they have divorce(s) under their belts, but these men have some skills. No, unfortunately not all of them can be highly skilled, but boy they sure give it their best effort. And there’s no rushing involved. Some of them don’t even care if they get a turn on the ride. They actually just enjoy the thrill of watching how it all plays out. They listen to what you have to say and are willing to compromise here and there and alter the master plan if it works out better for the both of you.

**Now the married women out there would argue with this theory of mine. They probably have husbands in that age range and feel that they are not meeting their needs at all. That’s for Dr Phils marriage counselling to figure out and not for me to get into.

The key to it all is the men who are not married anymore. They were rejected by former spouses, shot down and egos bruised. And now they have a second chance at the goal. They can show off their skills with nobody guilt tripping them about leaving their dirty socks beside the bed, or forgetting to empty the dishwasher or grab dog food. There’s no performance pressure. They want to get a goal, but they just go out there and enjoy the game too. They aren’t as high strung or hopped up on egos. Maturity has taught these men great things, but the downside is that they have some penalties mixed into their pasts.

With all that being said, it's a personal choice and depends on where you are at in your life and in your head. 
Well, I've decided to go with mature and highly skilled, but still a few years my junior.  I have found the best of both worlds!

Now your own game is to find a man, young or old, that meets most of your criteria.
                                                      Game ON !!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Do Not Pass GO, Do Not Collect $200...

So, I was at a hockey game last week and it inspired me to write again. Not quite sure what clicked but I’d long since lost my inspiration to write when I lost my job back in March of this year.
My mother became ill December of 2010 and throughout this year.  Her Lupus finally reared its ugly head and has been fighting with her body.  My moms poor health mixed with my job loss after 10 years caused me major weight gain from stress which was cruelly accompanied by hair loss (yes that’s been a real treat).  The sum of the whole lead me to hang up my keyboard for the last 8 months.

Luckily in the midst of all of this chaos, I met a really nice man. He is not some street vendor knock off; he is genuinely good and kind.  He helps me to smile and assures me that good things are coming.

When my life seemed to be in perfect order with a good career, great income and all else in place, I never seemed to meet a good man. All of them were duds pretending to be someone else and knockoffs masking who they truly were . There were like old pairs of shoes tossed away by previous owners. Shoes that the first women wore down to nothing. Other women came along, found them and polished them up and tried to wear them but they never fit right. So again, they were tossed into the 'Used' bin. And for good reasons!! Those were the toxic category of men that I was meeting when the rest of my life seemed to have all of the right boxes checked.

When my world fell apart in early 2011, I seemed to meet him almost immediately. I tell him all of the time that he met me at a personal low point. He met me when I was jobless.  He met me when  I haven’t weighed this much in years (I'm bursting out of my fat jeans) and I haven’t earned this low of an income in 11 years.
But that night, I saw him online and I messaged him. What the heck did I have left to lose?!?!
I hadn’t thought he would email me back because I assumed he was too hot for me.  Why did I think that negatively?  I guess that's when my self worth was spiralling down the royal throne.

Well, he messaged me back and I’ve been a happy camper ever since. We had our first date 6 months ago. I wish I could've at least met him when I was younger but maybe I would've despised him.  Or I could've thought he was "like, a total dork".  Funny thing is that we have mutual friends in our pasts. We knew some of the same people in high school. I could have met him earlier in time, but that was not fates master plan.

We each had our life lessons to learn to make us who we are now. To make us fit together like puzzle pieces.

Do I know what tomorrow holds? Not really but who does?

I know what I want out of life and I’m struggling daily to get back to where I was in my life at this time last year.  But should I be?  Perhaps I should be setting new future goals because my past goals were not meeting the finish line.
I feel like this is my new start.  I'm working where I started my career 13 years ago.  I've been set back to START but this time with a lot more wisdom, experience and education.

I believe this:
What you put out in life comes back to you. 
Positive thoughts merit positive results (as difficult as it may be to hold onto the positive)
And whatever will be, will be....

But it sure is nice to finally have a best friend and a partner to enjoy the ups and downs with!!!