There seem to be a lot of men out there these days who truly want a relationship. Or do they? A great friend of mine had met a guy on a site and he seemed legit. He was looking for exactly what she was. He had kids, he was handsome and a businessman. He was tired of the dating scene and wanted to meet his soul mate.
Soul mate: a phrase that is thrown out there too much without the true depth of the meaning behind it.
She too had been on countless dates and always had a great time, only to never hear from the guy again. So she contacted Mr Ready-to-B-Yours and they went out. He had kids the same age as her kids, he worked full time, owned his own house and business, and he started to spoil her rotten. Things were good.
But (yes, there’s always a but) they never went out on dates anywhere after their first date. The remaining balance of their dates consisted of watching a movie at his house, dinner at his house, and sleeping over at his house. “He is quite a busy man you know” she’d tell me while making excuses for his behaviour. He would work late at his job at the company he owned, and he had to chauffeur around his kids to various jobs and sports. The longer they dated, the less time he had available for her. Other things kept coming up. She finally stopped making excuses. She got bumped.
They dated a total of 4 weeks.
These type of men want a girlfriend, and yet they want their freedom. They rant on and on in their profiles about how they are romantic and want to enjoy the company of one loving partner in life. They want to share their feelings, their dogs, and hold hands and cuddle in front of a warm fire on a cold winter’s night. They are poets and romantics. At least, on their profiles they are. But have they just watched one too many chick flicks with ex girlfriends? They think they know what women want, and spoon feed it to all of the discouraged women out there. It’s like bearskin rugs, champagne glasses clinking in the firelight while wearing red satin pajamas and eating grapes. Who ever came up with that cliché imagery?
These busy boys will make a date with you and woo you to no end. Make no mistake, they can be great men and they sure do sweep you off of your feet initially. But soon enough, their priorities will shine through. They have volleyball on Wednesday’s, golf on Saturday’s, football boys night on Sunday’s, and meetings, clubs and anything else they can fit in on their free nights. Mr. Ready will make a date with you a week or two ahead of time, and when that day finally approaches, he will cancel on you (when you email him to confirm that you are still on) because one of his friends broke his ankle and he needs to go fix the guys muffler on his truck for him. Or paint his eaves troughs. Or bathe his Shih Tzu.
You are not a priority. These type of men have made their lives full so as to not feel the void of having no life partner. They have become their own ‘sole mate’. And you can bet dollars to donuts that as soon as you are gone from their lives, they will be back on the hunt for another woman to woo, spoil, confuse and then bump when things start to get too serious.
In reality, they can fit you in sometime in July of 2011 at 2:13pm for 45 minutes. But only if nothing more important to them comes along.